Don’t you hate it when you have this zine crush, and they’re dating someone who doesn’t even make zines. Like, long-term dating. It’s so perplexing. You want to appeal to their sense of reason: Think of all the creative things we could be sharing. Writing letters to faraway friends, as we sit across from one another at the coffee shop. Or taking turns flipping over the record, as we create a cut n’ paste mess in the dining room. We could be so right together. Why are you with someone who owns an Xbox?